Cold Feet
by spiritgununicorn
Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?
1. Wedding Mix: How I messed up everything

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: So here is the rewrite, hope you all enjoy. Also, the boys are in their twenties (in their human forms of course) in this story…more like 21 or 22, around there. Oh and sorry if the characters are a little OOC, I try to make them as IC as possible. Do tell me what you think of it. Enjoy.

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Wedding Mix: How I messed up everything.

At exactly nine A.M. the phone conveniently placed on the table beside a dark haired man began bellowing out the lyrics to "Eye 2 Eye." A harsh groan rumbled out of the man's throat as he tried to reach for the disturbing thing and smash it to pieces, but with his eyes closed he couldn't get it. He huffed and opened his eyes immediately making contact with the damned sun and muttered a bunch of curses to whomever thought leaving open his shades was a good idea.

The music stopped playing as soon as he sat up and he glared at it like it contained some kind of horrible disease. He picked it up begrudgingly and noticed that all of the racket was because someone had decided to leave him a text message. His best friend and best man, Kazuma Kuwabara, had left him a message to be exact. He opened his phone, rubbing some of the crust in his sockets and stared…and stared some more.

"Shit!" He cried as he wrenched the covers off of his body and ran into his bathroom for a quick shower. He had to get smashed last night and forget that his wedding was in a few hours. He had to be at the tailors to go and pick up his tux. If Kuwabara hadn't texted him…

After his shower and hurriedly putting on some garments, Yusuke Urameshi had left his apartment and was met with someone he had no intention of seeing until the next few hours. The hair at the nape of his neck stood up as his gaze locked onto emerald eyes and a soft smile. "Kurama, didn't think you'd be at my apartment so early in the goddamn morning."

"Surely you did not think you would be walking to the tailors? It's nowhere near your…humble abode." Kurama gave him a look that was clearly teasing, especially since Yusuke's home was always in a state of disarray no matter how many times Keiko had fixed it up. Oh well, when they would get back from their honeymoon it would be fixed up anyway, courtesy of Botan and Shizuru (because they hated to see his house so messed up).

"And you're the one giving me a ride?"

"It would seem so." Kurama started to open his door and get inside but he stopped when he saw Yusuke fidgetting. "Are you nervous about the wedding?" Kurama seemed curious…a little too curious.

Yusuke put his hands in his pockets and started to wander to the passenger's side and clambered in. "Me? Nervous? Never." He gave a forced chuckle, which Kurama didn't buy but turned on the ignition and started to drive. If Yusuke wasn't going to admit to his nervousness then he wouldn't push it. He gave the man beside him a reassuring pat which made Yusuke bite his lip…why oh why did it have to be Kurama taking him to the tailors? Kuwabara couldn't do it? He had a car as well!

One awkward car ride later, they reached their destination and Yusuke couldn't be more thrilled to get in there and get his tux. He wasn't that excited to be married, but more to get out of the car for someone whom he had had many awkward altercations with three months prior which has left a dangerous imprint on Yusuke's mind, body, and libido. Yep…you read that right. Yusuke had a crush on the redhead (that after a few years had gone but three months prior reared it's ugly head) that wasn't going away any time soon. As both men walked inside of the store the owner as well as Yusuke's other groomsmen were eagerly waiting his arrival.

"Boys!" Yusuke grinned as he saw them and was immediately congratulated and clapped on the back. He was scared for the impending event of this day, but it felt good to be smiled at because of it. There was something about weddings that left you with a bittersweet feeling, especially for himself. It was the end of his single life and hopefully the end of wanting Kurama as more than a friend…only he could hope so.

"Finally you've arrived and here I thought I was going to have to sacrifice Kuwabara to get you here." Good ol' Hiei was as ill-tempered as ever, especially when it came to his future brother-in-law.

"Hey! What was that you little shrimp? After all these years you're still making fun of me?" Kuwabara picked up the short man by his collar and the tailor had to force him to drop him or else there would be no business.

Yusuke laughed. "It wouldn't look good if my best man was dead right before my wedding Hiei. Besides, everyone would know it was you who did it." He sauntered over to the tailor ready to try it on. It had fit snug and made him comfortable. He wasn't used to these things one bit and as he came out to show the others, only Kurama was sitting outside on a chair facing his changing room in his own tux. Yusuke gave a smile, "How's it look?"

Kurama stood up getting closer to the other man checking his cuffs and nodded, "You look amazing, I'm sure Keiko will happy to see you in a tuxedo." Yusuke could pick up something in his tone that said not only Keiko would like it but that Kurama fancied him in it as well, but Yusuke pulled back just as Hiei and Kuwabara came out looking just as spiffy.

"Well the ladies are gonna have to eat their heart's out when they get a load of us." Yusuke laughed as they all stepped up the mirror admiring themselves (except for Hiei who just looked once and turned back into his room). They quickly changed and took their tuxedos, starting to go into their rides. Hiei had decided to go with Kurama and Yusuke thought of switching it up and going with Kuwabara, after all he was the best man and they had to do some "talking." Kurama made no comment, but Hiei gave him a look as if he knew what Yusuke was running from.

Kuwabara and Yusuke were the first to leave after stating they would all meet at the grounds where the wedding would be held, especially since Yusuke and Kuwabara still had to go and pick up the rings before they could even get to the wedding grounds. The drive was silent for a few more moments until Kuwabara glanced over to his friend. "Something the matter Urameshi, you haven't been this quiet in my car since…well…never."

Yusuke stared at the dashboard for quite some time before speaking. "You know what's been on my mind Kuwabara. I told you about it a while ago."

"You mean Kurama? Saw the way he was looking at you today. But you're gonna marry Keiko so it doesn't matter anymore right?" Yusuke shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Look man if you don't wanna marry her then don't do it. You know what's going to happen."

"You mean my head on a platter?"

"That's exactly what I mean Urameshi. Shit's gonna get weird if you marry Keiko and you still want him. If I remember right you were the one who said three months ago when you saw him again you had the urge to kiss him and you thought it was because of that whole demon thing." Yusuke huffed in response and looked out the window. "Urameshi?"

"I'm going to marry Keiko."

"But will you be happy with that? Staying in a marriage to someone you don't even know if you really want now?"

Yusuke glared at him. "I love Keiko. I made a promise to marry her, and I'll see it through to the end…she'll be happy. Besides, we've spent so much on this damn thing she better be fucking happy!"

Kuwabara said nothing and continued driving until they picked up the rings and drove to the grounds. Everything had already been set up and now all that was needed was the bride, bridesmaids, and groomsmen to get dressed and saunter down the aisle. It wasn't awkward at all, everyone had the pre-wedding jitters, more Yusuke than everyone else of course but that was because most of the time Kurama's proximity was a bit too much. And he wasn't even that close! It was just his energy touching Yusuke…almost enticing him, and he really wanted to give into that sweet and sinful temptation in the middle of-No! Yusuke, smacked himself over and over. You can't do this to her, behave damn you!

Kuwabara felt that his best friend was a sad, sad man that needed to be stopped before he could do more harm to himself and to the woman he was about to marry. Throughout the entire time they had been getting dressed, as well as fixing everything else that needed to be done so this day could be perfect, he had been bringing Yusuke over to the side to give him some words. He had almost gotten his teeth knocked out of him a few times for even exclaiming that Yusuke shouldn't be marrying, but of course it only goaded the stubborn dolt further, soon enough Kuwabara began to grow tired and decided to stand by, offering a supportive shoulder when the shit would hit the fan.

At the moment, each of the groomsmen were silent, lost in their own little worlds, until Hiei came next to Kuwabara. It was something that was extraordinary in and of itself, but then he made gestures for the other man to follow him out of the room so they could have a little chat. That left Kurama with Yusuke, and the younger did everything in his power to act as if the other were not so different from the paint splattered over the walls.

"Yusuke, I am not simply going to blend in with the scenery if that is something you are wishing to happen. You have been acting very strange for the longest time my friend. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm totally fine." Even though inside he was having a total panic attack and ready to shit his pants. He was staring at Kurama now, and it was weird. He was having the fantasy of ripping his clothes and taking him right then and there, and making him beg for whatever he could give him. And he wondered if Kurama would like it. He would hope so. Yusuke shook himself, he had to get his mind out of the gutter as far as where his friend was concerned. Honestly, what was his deal? So he had noticed Kurama was attractive since they first met and eventually it grew…then it faded…and came back with a vengeance. Maybe he should just stay away from the redhead forever?

Staring at those emerald eyes that regarded him with curiosity, he could not turn away from that and leave him behind in the dust. No, he couldn't leave someone who was probably a sex god underneath the carefully concocted personality that was Kurama. He could probably make anyone drop their pants in under a minute if he requested it. And he would be good, damn good. Yusuke licked his lips as if his appetite wasn't satisfied. Kurama's eyebrow had raised and before Yusuke could even try and say anything, Hiei and Kuwabara came back to the room, staring between the two.

"It's almost time. Are you ready Detective?" Hiei was almost amused because he could see the sexual energy emanating from Yusuke. It was emitting harsh waves that were sent purely to Kurama. He would revel in what would happen when he found out that marrying Keiko was not going to quench his desire for the fox demon. It would only make the poor fool lose himself and probably wear him down before breaking him, and then and only then will he give himself wholly to Kurama. He knew that calculating bastard was already wearing him then with games, he could see the mischievous sparkle in the fox's eyes. He had been a lover at one point, but he felt more inclined to be a partner in his shenanigans than in his web of pleasure, even though it was fucking fantastic.

Kurama made love that could make whores sing church songs for days on end. And that would only be a mortal's perspective. If Kurama's acts in the bedroom were what decided the king of the Makai, he would triumph hands down. No one could make a web of pleasure like he could. And he knew it. But he wasn't so vain as to stay such things, it was in the regality in which he carried himself.

Once again silence descended on the groomsmen and the door to the room had been knocked on before pushed slowly. The door revealed Yukina, glowing in her bridesmaid's dress and Kuwabara had flew to her as if gravity was a foreign concept that he had yet to grasp. She smiled brightly at seeing him before her and reminded them that they needed to be out already. The ceremony was about to start at any minute. Keiko was fully prepared and ready to go. Then men filed out one by one, Yusuke (on shaky legs) being the last one out.

It was go time.

The wedding went by in such a blur that Yusuke barely had any time to process the deed that he had just done. He was married, not engaged, not dating, fully and completely committed to Keiko for the rest of his days. He was incredibly fucked because he felt no desire to sleep with his wife tonight, and yet he had to consummate his marriage. It was something he had been living to do with Keiko for the longest time…although he never expecting to do it after they were married. More like when they were still kids and it was just for a good time. Of course they did it while they were dating, but now…consummating a marriage…it was…it was scary as all living hell!

And here he was drinking his woes away while so many had congratulated him, kissed him, and hugged him. He was drowning in the love and attention he was receiving. He wanted none of it now. He felt like a fraud. He didn't know what he was going to do now that he had taken someone else's place; someone who was a great man and had a lot of potential not to be a complete fuck-up. He had no idea what to do.

And so he did the only thing he could do. He walked out of the reception and out into the world. His best men had followed him and gave him a look of "I told you so."

"Fuck off Kuwabara."

"Only want to help you man."

Yusuke glared at him. "And how the fuck are you gonna do that? I just married the girl that I have loved for-fucking-ever and then all of a sudden the shit is changed because I might be queer for Kurama? No…just fucking no!" He was spiraling out of control and he really needed to release all of his pent-up frustration. The whole situation was just pushing buttons that were pushed three months ago, and he really wanted the entire ordeal to be over and done with already. What in the fuck was he going to do?

"Look, just go on your honeymoon with Keiko and forget about everyone else for now. Then when you get back…"

Yusuke grabbed his friend by his clothes. "And then what? You forgot that this whole thing started when I went to the Makai to speak with Enki and then came back home. Every time I am away I won't think of him because I'm busy but then when I see him again, I just-"

"Want to be his?" Yusuke and Kuwabara flinched at their new arrival. How long had the short demon been there listening in on them?

"Hiei…what are you-"

"Do you really think avoiding your attraction for him will do anything? It will only grow stronger each and every time you run away. And here I thought that you would fear nothing, but you feel the fox more than you do anything else. What is it that frightens you?" Hiei was curious, humans always had this fascination of blaming it on the "masculine vs. feminine ideal" and he knew Yusuke would say something about it.

"It's he's a guy and I'm a guy and we're two guys who aren't going to be turning into a woman at any rate…" Hiei was not disappointed.

"Humans are always hung up on gender." And with that he vanished from sight. Yusuke and Kuwabara just stood there and looked at each other. They were both confused and neither would tell anyone of the conversation they just had. Hiei was not one to follow that unspoken rule.

He had gone straight to Kurama, and found him talking to the Detective's beloved new wife. He said next to the fox, "The game has begun." And crossed his arms saying nothing else. Kurama on the other hand was quite perturbed and wondered what his friend had done until he looked across the room and found Yusuke and Kuwabara staring at them. It was a long night until Yusuke and Keiko had left on their honeymoon.

Yusuke and Keiko had not gone to their home because Genkai had actually paid for a hotel room at a grand hotel for the newlyweds. Yusuke had carried his new lady into the room and plopped onto the bed with Keiko ending up straddling him. She pulled at his clothes, begging them to come off and he had obliged. He was going to have sex with his wife and forget everything that had turned his life hellish. He showered her with attention and kissed all of the spots that made her writhe in pleasure, this was what he wanted, this was what he needed no one else could do better, especially not Kurama.

Yusuke shook himself trying to get his thoughts away from the redhead, especially as his and his wife's garments flew off and ended up piled all over their room. Her nails raked over his back as they kissed with fevered passion, slow was not a pace they would do right now. Need was evident in the way that they attacked each other's lips and flesh. Soon they would need to release with one another because the heat was too much for them. They ground against one another, melting into one another but despite the pleasure he was receiving Yusuke's mind turned elsewhere thinking of long red hair and a mischievous gaze that captivated him in a spell.

Passion and heat caught up with him as Keiko kept on riding him until they had burst and saw stars. She collapsed and kissed him sloppily, and it felt more like he was being devoured than feeling any sort of love and tenderness after the deed. He felt like he had betrayed someone by sleeping with her, and as she rolled over falling into sleep, he sat there with his head in his hands wondering what he had just done. He had to move off of this bed. And wrapped some sheets over his naked bits before exiting to the sitting room they had.

He laid upon the couch with his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. And of course there was greenery in this damn room which made his thoughts of the fox demon reappear with vigor and he cursed his luck. What would it take for him to forget the fox?

Could he even do it?

Three months had come rushing back into his damned mind.

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More Notes: Yay here's the new rewritten chapter. I hope you all liked please review and tell me if it's good or bad.

Thanks for reading!

xoxoxo


	2. Torturous Flashbacks: Three Months Prior

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: So, despite how the story should be linear in a sense…this chapter kicked my ass and decided it was time to be told. So without further ado, please enjoy a flashback chapter. Also, sorry it took forever.

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Torturous Flashbacks: 3 Months Prior

Keiko had been running about, planning their wedding for as long as Yusuke could remember. At one point, he couldn't bear to be around anymore women conversing about arrangements, seating placement, decorations, etc. He had to get away from everyone and anyone who was dealing with it, and he decided to leave for the Demon World. At first, Keiko hadn't wanted him to leave because she thought she might need him for those kinds of arrangements and things, but he reassured her saying it wasn't his place to get in the way of how she dreamed her wedding would be like.

Of course, it was all because he didn't care how the wedding turned out, as long as it happened in a semi-normal fashion. By that of course, he meant that no one would come and attack them in the middle of the proceedings, and that Yusuke would have to go around and kick some ass. He shook his mind of those kinds of thoughts, hoping he didn't just wish those things on himself and prepared for his depart to his own beloved territory.

Enki, the King of the Demon World, had not fully stripped anyone of their power. He was of course, the King, but those who had much property became the Lords of the Demon World and were still considered of high noble stature. Yusuke, being the inheritor of Raizen's estate, was one of these respected Lords. His countenance said nothing of that, but the land he owned made up for that. And despite him being rather brash and crude, many still loved him for even thinking of the tournament deciding the next king.

Yusuke had arrived to his land, and his vizier, Hokushin filled him on the happenings of the Demon World as well as his estate. He had found out that his companion, Kurama, was somewhere in the Demon World as well, more than likely around Yomi. Yusuke had asked Hokushin to send a letter to Yomi, asking if his friend could meet with him for dinner, and hopes that it would not be stealing him away. Yusuke had asked Kurama once about the relationship the two had now, and he didn't want to embarrass himself by thinking of it again.

He knew that the two of them had gotten quite physical these days. He just didn't want to get wrapped up in the thoughts of Yomi and Kurama together, sharing any physical contact other than fighting in battle. He didn't want to think of the two of them fighting for dominance and the things that two men could do to each other. No, he would not let his thoughts go astray with such things. It didn't matter if Kurama was the best looking man he had ever laid eyes on either. He would not be thinking those thoughts. He had to slap himself in order to completely stop.

A few days later, Yomi had responded explaining that Kurama would be on his way over soon, eager to meet with his companion. Yomi also sent him some congratulations on being wedded to a human girl, but Yusuke didn't know if he should take that as an insult or not. He thought long and hard about it, but decided that it was probably fine, and that it would not matter what the hell Yomi had thought anyway. It's not like he was ever going to set his sights on being in the Human Realm.

The day after, Kurama had arrived, and Yusuke embraced him in a manly manner of course. It had felt like forever since he had last seen him, and he noticed that the Demon World had given him a vibrancy that he had never noticed before. He wondered if Kurama truly felt at home here now, but he didn't know if he wanted to ask. It might lead him down the path of things he really didn't want to know. He kept his mouth shut, and brought him to one of his chambers so they could chat.

"Kurama, you've been doing well here. I knew you weren't back at home, but I kind of didn't really think you'd be here either."

"I claim being here as a business trip, and none are opposed to it. My family are quite taken with me working."

Yusuke laughed, "Of course they are. You've always been one of those kinds of guys who worked hard no matter what. Always was the best son you could be and whatnot. Don't you ever just try and take a break?"

"Would you not say that being here with you is 'taking a break', Yusuke?" Kurama was teasing him, and Yusuke knew it. Those emerald eyes held onto some sort of amusement and Yusuke was enamored by that look. Hokushin had brought them some more of the strongest wine they had in the area, and they continued to drink as they had chatted. Most of their topics were nonsensical and even varied to the mundane, but it felt like they were making up for some lost time. Yusuke wondered why being around Kurama was always so refreshing, like if he really did keep grounded in some way.

The wine had finally hit him after a few hours of the two of them sitting around and chatting. He could even see the flush that was coloring Kurama's cheeks. They had been conversing about Yusuke's wedding that would be happening in a few months, and Yusuke had made some joke about the reception and wishing that they had this wine to give to the party. If they ever managed to sneak it in, Koenma would probably have a fit, and his father would give him more than just spankings.

"I still want to see exactly how hard Koenma gets hit when he does something wrong. I can't imagine being a toddler for too many centuries, don't you guys feel the strain of being a damned baby for so long?"

Kurama couldn't keep the chuckles from bubbling out of his throat. The wine was really getting to him. How could he have drank so much without even noticing? There was something about being around Yusuke that made him want to be a bit more wild, like the old times, but he shouldn't. He knew what would happen if he was ever as brash as his friend across from him; he would completely lose himself and try and wrap his legs around that muscular body. He blushed at the thought, and shook his head. He was hoping to clear the arousing thoughts that were starting to cloud his mind. No, you are supposed to be more mature and can compose yourself. At least, that was what he told himself.

He looked over at his companion who was gazing at him curiously, the alcohol had taken effect and he could see that Yusuke's eyes were hazy. He had laid down with his arm behind his head, and the lazy grin that made Kurama want to kiss him. Kurama, forgetting every single bit of his wits, had started to crawl on all fours and moved around to Yusuke. He looked even more feral to Yusuke, who could only watch him, and he felt the tingle of his body beginning to warm. What was going on? Was the wine really that strong that he was imagining Kurama coming on to him?

He barely had any time to ask himself that question as Kurama had crawled on top of him. He straddled Yusuke's waist and leaned above him, waiting to fully attack him. He was ready, he had been waiting for something like this for so long. All he needed was Yusuke to comply; nothing else had mattered at that moment. It was only the two of them in a chamber being filled with the arousal of two drunken men.

"Kurama…" That was all that the fox demon needed to press his lips on the others, and slip his tongue in. to silence any protests before they began. Their lips matched and their tongues danced furiously. Both were pulling hair, and ripping at each other's garments. They hadn't made it to the pants and underwear, but Yusuke did grind his hips with Kurama's, just enough for the two of them feel each other's arousal. That was all Yusuke needed to full get his wits about him and push the other off.

"What…what the fuck are we doing?" He licked his lips and stood. His hair was tousled and his friend was on the floor. His heartbeat was erratic and he couldn't believe his blood was pulsating as it was. He clutched at his chest, looking down at Kurama. "What the fuck." That was all he could keep repeating as Kurama finally got up, wishing that he could console the other.

He shook his head, feeling completely hurt. "The wine. It was just the wine, Yusuke. Let us forget about what has transpired. We weren't thinking clearly. My mind is still a haze, and I am trying to fight the clouds that are fogging my mind."

Yusuke had backed himself into a wall. One hand was clutched at his chest and the other was holding the cool wall. His temperature was going down, but the heat in his groin had remained. His heartbeat was finally slowing, but his breath was still shallow. Had he really just kissed Kurama? He had been debating for some time about doing something like that, but now that it had actually happened, what was he supposed to think? What was he supposed to do? And that _look _that Kurama was giving him. That was just heartbreaking. _Fuck._

"I suppose I should take my leave. It was…good to see you, Yusuke. I wish you all the best."

He was leaving? He could not just leave with what just happened. He was going to be one his best men for crying out loud! As Kurama turned, Yusuke broke away from the wall and caught his wrist. "You are not leaving me."

"Things can happen if I impose on you any longer."

"Don't do this to me." He was starting to whine, this was getting out of hand.

"I am not doing anything, Yusuke. I am merely saving us from anything happening."

"But we already kissed."

"It was a mistake."

"I want another one."

"No."

"Why?" Yusuke was beginning to get desperate. He was still in a haze of lust, and his body was protesting of him making it stop. He was horny, but not just for anyone or anything, but for his friend, the fox demon.

"You are getting married to a human girl, Yusuke. You do not want to break any promises to her, you do not want to cheat."

"And if I do?" Desperation was evident in his tongue. He vaguely wondered if he was becoming a whore.

"You don't. Release me." Kurama finally looked at him with hardened emerald eyes. They glittered with something, and Yusuke wondered if his friend would even cry. He dropped Kurama's arm as if he were being burned and the other had left the room. He was going to spend the night in Yusuke's land, but he would not be anywhere near the Lord.

Yusuke's heart hurt. It felt like it was breaking into a million pieces, and just as Raizen's stomach had once shook the land, Yusuke's cry of agony of was doing the same. What could he do now but marry Keiko? He had promised to live a long life with the woman. Yearnings for his friend would not be a good reason to just drop everything and leave her for. He had been with her through thick and thin. He knew he loved her, but he was never really sure if he was in love with her. It didn't matter, she was in love with him and he would do everything in his power to make her happy. He would even sacrifice his own happiness for hers.

Three months ago, Yusuke made a decision. He was going to marry Keiko, whether he liked it or not. Three months later, he fulfilled his decision. His feelings for Kurama had not yet changed, he was still lusting after him. And now the game truly begins.

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Extra notes: Chapter seems a bit shorter. I shall try to make the next one longer and get it out as quick as possible. Hope you all liked it. 3


	3. Honeymoon Horror & Homecoming

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: Thank you to all my lovely readers who have stuck by me from the beginning until now. I thank you for the constructive criticisms as well. We are now back to the present time right when Yusuke and Keiko had finished consummating their marriage. Also, I believe the song is going to be a sort of theme song for this fic. Hope you all enjoy. Please read and review.

Key: _Italics _are for thoughts as well as emphasis. You'll know which is which.

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Honeymoon Horror & Homecoming: Food for thought?

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_Don't speak._

_I know just what you're saying._

_So please stop explaining._

_Don't tell me 'cause it hurts._

_**- No Doubt "Don't Speak"**_

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x.x.x.

Minutes turned into hours as Yusuke laid on the couch. Before he knew it, morning had arrived and his darling wife was going to be awake soon. Shuffling about in the blanket he draped around his bits, he decided to call room service only to have the doorbell ring before he made it to the phone. He opened the door and the complimentary breakfast was rolled in happily. Keiko woke up just in time, in the same sort of dress as her husband and blushed. Yusuke had to fake a smile. It was going to be one long honeymoon.

After breakfast was eaten, the newlyweds decided that they should figure out something to do. The hotel that Genkai paid for was actually a resort. She had booked it for three full days and Yusuke wondered if the old hag was trying to punish him for something by making them spend so much time together. He knew he shouldn't act like an ungrateful asshole, but he didn't know what to do anymore. All he kept thinking about was three months ago as well as the things Hiei had implied.

"Yusuke? Are you okay?" Keiko had been trying to get his attention for the past five minutes. Her husband had kept staring at his empty plate like it had done something particularly foul, and she wondered if he hated the food. She poked his nose, finally gaining his attention. "Earth to Yusuke. Did the food upset you or something? You look really unhappy about it."

Yusuke immediately changed his expression and shook his head. "No. I was just thinking is all."

Keiko snuggled closer to him, reveling in the warmth he had provided for her. She couldn't believe that they were finally married and all would be well. She was genuinely happy and couldn't wait to start a life with the man she had loved for so long. "Oh? What were you thinking about? Me, you, and a couple of kids perhaps?" She was just pulling his leg. She had already taken her morning after pill and the two of them hadn't even talked about having kids in a very serious manner, but the look Yusuke gave her was priceless. "I was just kidding, I swear it."

Yusuke frowned. Eventually, he and Keiko would have to take such a leap. He couldn't even see himself raising a litter of little demons, probably just as much of a badass as he was…or even worse. And what would he do when Keiko aged and he remained relatively young? He was a demon, and his ticker was barely ticking as it is. The aging process was extremely slow for him now, how were they supposed to deal with that? He shook his head and stood up.

Keiko was extremely confused now. Her husband was acting stranger than ever, and on their honeymoon no less. What was his deal?

She tugged at his arm. "Yusuke? You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'm still the same person who was your friend since we were young. Just because we're married doesn't mean you have to distance yourself or think I won't understand. It's just like when I found out when you were a Spirit Detective as well as a demon. I'll always be here to support you…" She pondered about what she just said, hoping that she didn't seem like she was begging. She was just speaking from the heart. Yusuke always felt like he had something to hide form her, but she loved him unconditionally. Any other human woman would have probably turned him away the moment they found out he was delving with the supernatural.

Her partner sighed and walked to the glass doors that gave them a view of their terrace. He had to admire the fact that Genkai gave them a decent room; a suite he believed. He walked outside, leaving the door like an invitation to join him. He leaned over the balustrade marveling at the view from their room. In just 24 hours his life had gone to complete and utter pieces. How was he supposed to live the rest of his life with a beautiful woman like Keiko, feeling like his emotions were a hoax? He bit his lip as his hands balled into fists. Keiko came behind him, wrapping her arms around him. She hoped that maybe the action would serve him better than just a bunch of words.

Yusuke was left cold with her touch. Usually when a person loves another, any bit of contact would make them shiver with delight and leave them desperate and wanting. Usually the person in need would be heated and turn around, clinging to the other like a lifeline. Yusuke did no such thing. He was being held onto but he didn't feel the need to be held. In fact, he almost wanted to slink away from her touch; to reject her. He knew that would hurt her in the deepest way possible, and he shook that thought out of his mind. He would deal with this. He just had to.

"Yusuke…" Keiko relinquished her hold on her husband and moved next to him. She too leaned over the balustrade, looking out into the distance. Yusuke hadn't said anything to her and her thoughts were beginning to grow wild. Was Yusuke having second thoughts about everything now? She winced, imagining Yusuke about to say he his love was a farce and that maybe they should go their separate ways.

Yusuke turned to look at his wife. He reached out to touch her chin and lifted it so her eyes would meet his. He leaned into her to capture her lips with a tender kiss. It was short and sweet. Keiko smiled, feeling as if Yusuke had heard her thoughts and was trying to convince her of otherwise. Yusuke was dying inside, he hated feeling like he had to fake everything. Damn the demon who kissed him and made him quiver with desire. He would find the spark he had once upon a time with Keiko.

A few hours later, the couple had showered and put on bathing suits. They would be staying at the beach of the resort for the rest of the day. It was their first outing as newlyweds and Keiko was shivering with anticipation. She wanted to throw her arms around Yusuke's neck and kiss him until both of their lips were puckered bright pink and a bit sore. She laced her fingers with his and pulled him on their way to the sand. "It's so beautiful out here!" She kept exclaiming over and over again. Yusuke smiled a little to himself, it never really took much for her to be happy. He was glad that she never asked for too much from him; just a bit of attention here and there. He was finally able to give it after he was fired from being Koenma's lackey, but he still kind of missed that adventure.

He would never tell that to Koenma of course. That would make the toddler happy, and Yusuke liked giving him a hard time. Keiko picked two beach chairs beside each other and threw off her towel. She was ready to go in the water and looked expectantly at Yusuke. He motioned for her to go on ahead since the moment he sat down on his chair it started to wobble. He figured he had to fix it and would rather not forget about it by getting the water, lest he sit again and he falls on his butt.

His wife merely shrugged and teetered off to the glistening cerulean waters. She smiled peacefully, taking in the sights and smells of the perimeter and then dived head first in the freezing water. She came back for air, teeth chattering, and her hair plastered to her face. This was a real vacation, she couldn't recall the last time she had been on one, especially with Yusuke. She hoped that they would be doing this again and again till the end of their days. She just wanted a happy marriage.

Was that too much to ask?

Yusuke watched as Keiko swam to the shore and back out into the waters. She looked pretty content while there was a horrific storm brewing inside of him. He wondered if he could get service around here and took out the cell phone he had stashed into his pocket earlier. He knew Keiko would bitch about it if she saw him talking on the phone throughout the honeymoon so he turned it off for most of the time. Besides, it's not like Keiko could see him at this point in time while she was floating like a mermaid in the beach.

He turned in his chair, covering the phone with one ear as he dialed his best friend. He needed some kind of reprieve or else he would lose it. Kuwabara was always going to be there to tell him to calm his shit. At least Yusuke knew that much. A few rings later and Kuwabara's beloved sister Shizuru answered the phone angrily. The moment Yusuke had told her his name, she chuckled and just handed it to her brother. He could hear her putting her elbow into her brother's stomach and the yelps his best friend produced.

"Damn it, Urameshi what the hell are you calling me for? You should be doing Keiko right about now. Ya only got three days of a vacation, spend it with her and not talking to me." Yusuke smiled to himself, good old Kuwabara.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that as if I don't know that. This place is nice and all but I just keep thinking-"

"That's never good territory for us, Urameshi."

"Very funny, asshole. But I've just been thinking a lot about-" He could hear Kuwabara move away from his sister and up to his own room. He could even hear Kuwabara's father holler at him for nearly crashing into him.

"You've been thinking about Kurama and Hiei."

"Not Hiei, just Kurama. Last night shit got really weird while Keiko and I were having sex-"

"I don't want to know about that!" Kuwabara was practically screeching in his ear and Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't giving you details, dumbass. Just listen to what I have to say." Kuwabara muttered under his breath but Yusuke was sure he heard something about unnecessary information and that he would like to never have the images of Yusuke and Keiko fogging his mind. "I was with Keiko but my mind kinda drifted off and well…"

"Well…?"

Yusuke squirmed in his seat and then sighed. He couldn't admit something like that to Kuwabara. Best friend or no best friend, he wasn't sure if he should even delve into that territory. His body and mind were triggered by Kurama, that was another reason he was able to even make love to his wife, he had been thinking about another.

That was cheating without even sleeping with someone. Just thinking about screwing another while you're supposed to be screwing the one you love. It was wrong, wasn't it?

Yusuke lost himself in that thought while Kuwabara was shouting his name. His friend was concerned that he had trailed off. He thought maybe he got hit and went unconscious or something. "Sorry Kuwabara. I just called to um…see how you are and stuff. Ha, don't mention what I was um…talking about. It doesn't matter. I'll talk to you some more later, okay?"

"Uramesh, wait-!"

"Bye Kuwabara." Yusuke hung up the phone, throwing it on the towel, and the stuffing it underneath. He cupped his face in his palms. He was screwed beyond all belief. He couldn't even explain to Kuwabara what was really going on.

And to add more injury to insult Keiko had come back from her swim to check to see if he was okay. She gently touched his shoulder, kneeling before him, dripping wet and with doe eyes. "Yusuke…?" He could feel his heart beat gaining speed, not because she had grown to become the most beautiful woman he had ever met, but because he felt guilty. He was just implausibly guilty. His mind should just be focused on her, and damn it that was what he was going to do! He was going to focus on Keiko. All of this thinking was just snagging him and dragging him down. He was not going down without a fight.

He shut off his mind and pulled Keiko up onto his lap. He wrapped her legs around his midsection as he gave her a ferocious kiss. He needed something, but there was none other who _should_ be giving him what he desired. He twisted his tongue with hers, easily possessing her. He knew that Keiko's face was turning an exploding red that he found endearing. Grabbing her hips and hoisting her even closer, her covered breasts rubbed his chest and he could feel Keiko shiver.

They parted for air for a second, and the moment Keiko even tried to ask _why_, Yusuke's lips covered her own. He wouldn't hear from her these three days. He would just fuck her maliciously if he could help it. He would chase out the thoughts of Kurama. Fuck that redheaded fox for messing with his mind.

* * *

x.x.x.

_No one can do it better like Keiko._

That's what he kept telling himself as he took their items and pulled her with him. They were going back to their room. He was going to make her scream and writhe with pleasure. He was going to lose himself in his wife for the next three days. No, he wouldn't lose himself, he would drown himself. If drowning himself in Keiko's suffocating love was what it took to rid himself of confusing emotions, then so be it. He wasn't going to live a lie to keep Keiko happy. He was going to just love her and that was it.

_I do love her._

Then why did his heart want to say otherwise? _Fuck you mind. _He jammed the key into the hole and swung it open. The door crashed with a loud thud as they entered and then slammed it back closed. Keiko was pinned to the wall beside it, clothes being torn from her body before she could even fix a sentence of where her husband suddenly got the energy. She clutched desperate with need and release as Yusuke's hips met her own pounding into her.

_When did his clothes come off?_

She didn't care. He was going so fast, so rough, she couldn't think, she nearly forgot to breathe. It didn't matter anymore. Their suite was paradise! If Yusuke kept giving her this much attention, this much of an ache between her legs…! She never wanted to leave! "I love you!" Keiko's words only made Yusuke go faster, harder, deeper, and Keiko wondered if she could take it.

This is what it was like with a demon! This fire, this sporadic pattern he was delegating, it was amazing. She had never felt anything like it. Her nails made welts onto his back as he continued to thrust, his name a prayer she couldn't stop repeating. The gods must have been having a good day up on high because her demon was like an angel sent to her to save her. This wasn't making love, this was fucking, she was sure of it. It still didn't make it any less thrilling, passionate, and invigorating. She wanted this to go on for hours.

And it did.

From morning, noon, till night. Three days went by in a blur just as Yusuke had wanted it to. He would make Keiko scream until her throat was sore. He would burrow himself inside of his wife until she couldn't close her legs properly and had to lay down giving him a full view. Their breaths were always labored and sweat from the previous days had lingered on their skin making them glisten like they had taken a swim in the cerulean ocean of the resort.

On their final night, they fell asleep in each other's arms exhausted. Yusuke's warmth made Keiko feel safe while Keiko's made Yusuke want to run away. Sex had not calmed the storm one bit. Every time a thought would pop up, he would have Keiko for another go. He knew it was wrong to use her like this. He really thought it would help him! Keiko was sure her husband was just getting his fill of sex in every position he could that he had wanted to try. She hoped he would not tire them out, and then sex would get repetitious, then again, Yusuke was a demon and they always seemed to have new tricks.

In the morning, they were due to leave the resort. Everything had been in the same place as always since they never left their room. Packing was easy, just a few pieces of clothing had to be thrown out or put back into the suitcases. Keiko's legs wobbled as she tried to walk and Yusuke had to hold her steady. Despite the dull ache lingering in her sex, she smiled happily and felt fulfilled to have Yusuke with her.

Getting back home took faster than they had expected. It felt like time had just flown by as they took a taxi. The landscape changed drastically before them, and suddenly they were back in their neighborhood. They paid for the ride and got out of the taxi to find that Botan, Yukina, and Genkai were standing before their home just as surprised as the newlyweds.

Botan approached them first, taking Keiko's suitcase. "We didn't think you'd be home so quick. We've done a lot with the house."

"You didn't throw anything of value out, right? If I find some of my stuff-"

"Shut up dimwit, be happy we even cleaned the damn house. Come on, get inside and see all we've done." Yusuke muttered to himself but followed everyone inside. Yukina gave him a small smile and that's when he found that all of his buddies were in the house for a surprise party. They wanted to congratulate them even further, and the house looked magnificent! The place was spic and span; floors were swept and mopped, and nothing was out of place. They really did a great job.

"I gotta admit, you guys did good."

Botan and Yukina grinned triumphantly, and joined everyone inside of the living room for some fun and games. "Urameshi!" Kuwabara wrapped an arm around his friend, giving him a noogie, and laughing. "Thought we weren't gonna do anything else for ya, huh? The girls cooked this up!" Yusuke grinned, seeing his friend made him feel a hell off a lot better.

And then his good mood sank just like the Titanic. He could spot Kurama and Hiei in the crowd talking amongst themselves and Kuwabara followed his eyes. "They've been here for a while, looking forward to see you. Just behave and it'll all be okay. You and I also gotta talk about that phone-"

"I thought I told you not to bring that up."

"Shove it. You need to talk and I'm here. I'm not gonna let you try and leave me in the dark about this. We're friends remember. Friends talk. So we're gonna talk. But for now, let's just enjoy the party. We can do all that talk stuff tomorrow when things aren't so nutty." Yusuke scowled but he nodded. Kuwabara was going to get his way with this whether Yusuke liked it or not.

"Fine. Guess it's party time then."

He just hoped that Kurama's eye would stop following him for the night.

_It's nice to have his eyes on you, doesn't it?_

Yusuke cursed his brain thinking such thoughts. He really didn't want to have Kurama being trained on him. Especially since it just made him cling to his wife with a new resolve. Why is that Kurama always came up unexpectedly? It was like he always made you think of him without wanting to and suddenly he appears. That bastard. Yusuke tried to maintain a normal composure but he was sure that Hiei was getting a kick out of reading his ki.

_It's going to be a long night._

And it really was. That party was the longest party he had ever been to. And all the while, Kurama's glittering emerald eyes were beckoning him and smiling mischievously. Those eyes held so much knowledge that Yusuke knew he wouldn't be able to fight it sooner or later.

Those eyes were truly drowning him more so than Keiko's love.

* * *

Extra notes: Finally, another chapter! I really thank you guys for sticking with me and reading this fic. Sorry if I made any errors. ^^;

xoxoxo


	4. Exchanging Plesantries

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: Here we are again, another lovely chapter. I thank you all for everything. Enjoy.

Key: _Italics _are for thoughts as well as emphasis. You'll know which is which.

* * *

**Exchanging Pleasantries: Things Have Changed For Me**

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would_

_Like to say to youI don't know how _

**-Oasis "Wonderwall"**

* * *

x.x.x.

The following morning, Keiko had made breakfast for the two of them. She was humming to herself as she worked meticulously to make the scrabbled eggs, toast, and bacon for herself and her husband. She felt like she was living in a never-ending dream, and she was quite content with it. If everyday was beautiful and blissful, then she would be absolutely happy.

Her husband, on the other hand woke up grumbling as the sun's rays filtered into the room and straight to his vision. He rubbed the dust out of his eyes and yawned, momentarily forgetting that he was a married man, seeing as no one was in his bed. Then, he sniffed the home cooked meal wafting from the kitchen, to his own room.

_A good little housewife, is that what you truly desire?_

Yusuke grimaced as his thoughts were getting more and more sarcastic. Half of the time it felt like Raizen was still living on inside of him and speaking in his thoughts; adamantly believing that this normal human life was not for him. Yusuke would be damned if he was going to let his demon self win this battle. He was going to love Keiko for the rest of his life. Fuck his demonic heritage and whatever it believed.

He walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen in only his boxers. His darling wife was smiling happily as she kept humming to herself, not registering her husband's presence. Yusuke just watched her for a moment. She truly was a beautiful woman, and he really did not deserve her. He felt like he was pulling her along and stealing her from someone who could treat her better than he ever could.

Since when did the great Yusuke Urameshi begin to doubt himself?

_You tasted the forbidden fruit of that fox, boy…_

Kurama was just a friend.

_As you wish to tell yourself._

The half breed shook his head to clear his thoughts, and moved to his wife, wrapping his arms around her. Keiko was shocked for a moment, but then settled in his arms. They stayed that way for a while, until the food was fully cooked and she pointedly made her husband go to the table so they could eat. She was going to be working at the restaurant for half of the day and then the girls would want to hear even more details about the honeymoon so she was going to go out with them.

She made it a point to tell Yusuke, but he only half listened. He realized she was going to go out for whatever and probably wouldn't be back for a while. It was better for him anyway. He could go over to Kuwabara's today, especially since his friend was pretty adamant about it last night. He reminded his friend about twenty times that they needed to talk, and that he had better show up at his house tomorrow. Kuwabara could get pretty annoying if he wanted to when Yusuke had an issue, and he wouldn't stop until it was all figured out.

A few hours later, Yusuke found himself at the front door of his best friend's home. His hand was poised to strike the door but he made no move to do so. He knew if there were people looking at him, he probably looked like an idiot with his hand above the door but not doing anything to it. A few moments of arguing with himself, he finally knocked. He could hear someone crash into various object, screaming obscenities, and finally the door opened to reveal Kuwabara's older sister, Shizuru.

The brunette female had a non-lit cigarette dangling from her mouth, clad in a long t-shirt that left little to the imagination, and a sneer to which Yusuke gathered that she had just woken up. "It's only you. The hell you doing knocking on people's doors so early in the damn morning? It's the weekend." She turned away from him, leaving the door open and stalked off to her room in order to get some more rest. Yusuke knew to get inside the house and close the damn door on his own. She was the one who always heard the door because her dad and lazy ass brother slept like logs.

Shizuru was never a early to bed and early to rise person. Yusuke just shook his head, amused with her. This was not the first time he got told off by his best friend's sister for waking her up. He went inside, closed the door, took off his shoes, and made his way to his friend's room. He wasn't surprised that Kuwabara wasn't awake. He went into the room, finding him sprawled on the bed, his hand fisted in his pants, scratching at his nuts. He was always a heavy sleeper, and not the most gracious. Yusuke shook his head, pressing one of his feet on his friend's stomach until his eyes opened.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty. I came to visit your ass, just like you told me to. And this is what I come over to see; you playing with yourself in the middle of you sleeping. That's just nasty." His chuckles bubbled over into good natured laughter as the other man's eyes glimmered with the confusion that comes with waking up.

"Urameshi?"

"The one and the only. Wake up, damn it." Yusuke still had not lifted his foot, so he pressed it urgently into his friend's stomach, hoping it would do the job faster.

"Gah! Stop it!" Kuwabara lifted the other man's foot off of him, making Yusuke off balance and fall. He looked at his friend laying on the floor saying, "Don't cheat on Keiko with my floor." His friend merely glared at him as she he shrugged sitting upward. He stretched before swinging his feet over and placing them on the floor by his friend's body. "You just gonna lay there the whole time or are you seriously here to talk to me?"

"You invited me over, dumbass. You should do the talking."

"Fine. You ever gonna tell me what it was you were going to tell me?" Yusuke's face couldn't have read other than the huge question of what was he blabbering about. "I mean when you called, remember? The one you didn't want me to bring up again. I told you we've got to talk about it. And I know it has something to do with Kurama."

Yusuke got off the floor and closed the bedroom door. God forbid if Shizuru or Kuwabara's dad waltzed into the room during their conversation. They only knocked on bedroom doors when any of them had company, even with Yusuke there, although they all treated him like another sibling/child in the family. "I don't want to risk anyone hearing about this. You know Shizuru would put her foot up my ass if she got wind that I was messing with someone or thinking of messing with someone. The girls are all protective of each other."

Kuwabara just nodded in understanding. "So, fess up. What's been eating at you throughout the honeymoon? I'm sure things weren't smooth sailing for you if you called me the day after you guys got married."

Yusuke moved over to the bed, making Kuwabara move further up to give him room. "I had thoughts about Kurama…"

"Yeah, you told me that part."

"While I was in bed with Keiko."

Kuwabara's eyes went wide and he shot up from the bed, pointing an accusing finger at his buddy. "Are you nuts? You can't go on like this Urameshi! If you're going to be with her then be with her, if you're going to do those kinds of things with her, you should focus your attention only on her! You're going to go even crazier if you keep doing these kinds of things. I told you not to marry her when you didn't have your head on straight! Look what you've got yourself into, you idiot!"

Yusuke sprung up from the bed, hooking Kuwabara in the jaw. Kuwabara retaliated with his own punch. The two of them started going at it even more, knowing that their punches were the only words they truly needed. Their fists were the only things that mattered when it came down to dire situations. They were on the same emotional wavelength now. Fear for Keiko, disdain for Yusuke's thoughts and actions, even a tiny sliver of sadness panged them. Things were beginning to change rapidly. Neither of them knew how the situation would turn out from here on end. They needed to do something about this, something about Kurama.

After their scuffle, they slinked back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. They didn't talk for a while, until someone came knocking on the door. Breathlessly, Kuwabara called out, "Come in." His father opened the door, grinning to see his boy and his friend, wondering if the two would like to come on out with him. He was going to run some errands and a few extra hands would be a good thing. Both boys traded a look, but decided to help him. As Kuwabara got ready, Yusuke stayed down in the living room beside Shizuru and her father.

The cigarette she had been donning this morning was finally lit, unless if she had procured another one. He asked her once how many times she smoked a day, but she never really got around to answering. He knew she smoked far more than he did, and offered one to him every once in a while, but then someone would always take the damn smoke away from him.

He looked over at her. "I thought you would be out by now. Hanging around with the girls."

"I've got a shift in a few at the café. They'll probably see me there or something. You and my little bro were fighting again? I could hear it in my room while I was trying to sleep." She laughed, shaking her head. Shizuru was always the type that didn't really care if the boys got into fights in the house, as long as they didn't break any of the furniture that was hers or any of the walls. They weren't going to be replacing things, of course it would probably be on her and her dad's paycheck. And Kazuma's ass as well.

Speaking of, Kuwabara finally headed down to them, fully dressed and ready for action. The men found themselves shopping for some household tools that Kuwabara's dad needed. The shop that sold every little tool that he needed was not too far from the house, so they strolled about. Yusuke would pass by every female, checking them out, despite him being a married man and in a very tight spot with his libido, considering that Kurama messed him up. Kuwabara would catch his friend's wandering eye and elbow him in the stomach, trying to get him to stop.

"Disrespectful, Urameshi." He whispered to the brunette as his father walked on ahead of them, oblivious to Yusuke's leering.

"Shut up. I'm just…testing out my eyes." Kuwabara shot him a look of disbelief. "I mean, that since I've been thinking about messing with Kurama, I want to know if I see that other women are attractive, you know? I want to know if I still like women."

"You love Keiko. And you've been messing around with Keiko. So you don't need to look at all of these other women, Urameshi. Just get it through your head that you either want to be with Keiko or you want to be with Kurama. Make a damn choice, or go and talk to Kurama."

Yusuke scowled at his pal, he had a point. He should go and talk to the red-headed fox and explain the situation, hoping that something would happen…or rather, not happen to make him feel this way. He didn't want to be attracted to the demon. He was married for cripes' sake! His hands reached up to tug at his hair, wanting to tear it out and yell. His friend had noticed this and smacked his hands off of his head, and slapped his head again for good measure. They would have gone at it again, but then Kuwabara's dad turned around smiling and pointing at the shop.

"Alright boys, here we are. Now, I've got a list of the things I need to buy, and you two are just going to pick them up and put them in my cart. Okay?" The two of them nodded, while entering the shop. Both Kuwabara and Yusuke smiled as they went inside, grabbing every little tool that was needed without even thinking about it. Half an hour went by as they stayed inside, picking up everything and then trading either jokes or some kind of story. Yusuke and Kuwabara figured out that the work done in the house should either be done by them or by Shizuru because Kuwabara's dad was more clumsy than not.

"And then, your old pal here managed to hammer my foot while he was supposed to be hammering the nail in front of him!" The elder Kuwabara laughed with riotous laughter and Yusuke joined him.

"Hey! No one told you to have your foot there!" Kuwabara laughed with them too, seeing as it was more at his father's expense and it was one hilarious story.

"I thought those voices were vaguely familiar. I never expected to run into the two of you." Yusuke's and Kuwabara's laughter died in their throats as both of them turned around to come face-to-face with none other than Kurama. Yusuke bit his lip, trying to look somewhere else, while Kuwabara was searching for words to say. "Don't look so shocked to see me, they sell amazing gardening tools here. My mother and I are both shopping, but she has fled somewhere else, seeing as this place is quite large."

"Kurama, wow we didn't ever expect to see you here…'specially not today. It's good to see you!" Kuwabara kept letting words fly out of his mouth so neither Kurama nor Yusuke could get a word in. However, the two of them linked eyes as Yusuke hoped to distract his attention. He could feel the current of electricity run through him, as his gaze was held by the mysterious fox demon.

It was like his world was crumbling around him, but he didn't care. The shock running through his body was delicious. His stomach was just as turbulent as the tide, but that didn't matter. His focus was those forest green eyes that were holding him captivated. Not even Kuwabara's banter was taking him away from it. However, as he felt like it was years as he was under Kurama's spell, it was only a moment in real time. The demon's eyes flickered back to the other human who finally stopped talking, seemingly ran out of words to tell him, and just smiled. "Well, it is always interesting to see the two of you and I am surprised that you are not with Keiko, Yusuke."

The lilt to his voice when it came to Keiko did not go unnoticed by the old spirit detective and he cleared his throat. "She and the girls are…uh…out. They're having some time for themselves." He shuffled his feet as Kuwabara looked between the two men. He knew things were just getting hella awkward but he didn't know what to do or say. Then, an idea clicked in his mind and he grinned.

"You know Kurama, Urameshi here was just talking about how he had some things to tell you. He was going to go over to your house later, but since you're right here…ha, well we can kill two birds with one stone, yeah?" He felt like he should pat himself on the back while Yusuke was emanating vicious amount of energy directed at him. The need to kill Kuwabara was almost palpable and Kurama was a bit confused. He certainly did not expect these turns of events.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Things were becoming interesting indeed. What with Hiei's sudden interest in gambling with these "human pawns" as he called them, and Yusuke's hesitance to deal with anything that had to deal with Kurama. He just wasn't sure how the rest of his days were going to carry on now.

"No, I didn't."

"Urameshi's a liar. He said he had something real important to tell ya. But he can't speak about it in front of me or anyone else. So, I'm just going to go along with my dad, and help him. I'm sure he only needs a few more things. I'll see ya!" Then Kuwabara ran off, leaving Yusuke to glare after him, and alone with the fox demon he was lusting after! Some best pal he is.

Yusuke turned his attention to the fox and sighed. This was hard enough as it is just thinking about his newly found lust for the other. He didn't really want to discuss it, but it would have to happen eventually. Just not today. It could wait. "Hey, Kurama. Lookin' good." He hoped that didn't sound as wrong as he thought it did.

Kurama chuckled, moving closer to the younger man before him. "Thank you. You don't look quite as good myself, but I suppose that can be fixed? Are you well, Yusuke? You do look troubled. Anything you need to speak about?" As he drew nearer, he could feel the sudden change in the mazoku's energy. It was swirling about in various ways, confused about which way it should go. Then it channel itself directly to him…so this was it…he was still dwelling on the past; what happened in the Demon World was supposed to stay there, but apparently it didn't. "Yusuke…"

"I wasn't supposed be talking about anything, really. I just-"

"You are still dwelling in the Demon World and what transpired between us. I had told you to leave that all behind and to forget about it."

Yusuke frowned. Kurama was too damn smart for his good at times. He wished that he couldn't just understand him like the back of his own hand. He hated being predictable after spending his entire lifetime trying to be the opposite. I mean, no one could have foreseen him being a spirit detective, fighting lots of demons, becoming one, and then lusting after a fox demon that he didn't even mean to lust after!

That last one wasn't supposed to count. "Damn it!" Yusuke shouted all of a sudden. Even his friend was taken aback by the sudden explosion from him, but said nothing. "You…you can't just go around kissing people like that damn you! Do you know how fucked up you made me right now? All of this-" He pointed to himself, and pointedly his chest. "it's fucking ridiculous. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm married but the shit is, I can't stop thinking about it!" His voice was rising and he didn't care that there were people stopping to stare at him and wonder what going on.

Kurama's eyes were flicked with a mix of his emerald eyes as well as the gold that comes when his pure demon form was roused. He was the source of Yusuke's pain from a time that should have been better left forgotten. "I am sorry, Yusuke. I truly am. I stayed away from you as much as I possibly could have, but right now you are causing a scene. We cannot carry on like this." He wanted to do something to comfort the brunette before him, but a mere touch was out of the question.

"Then let's take this elsewhere." The words left his mouth before he could even think of them. Yusuke held up his hand to his lips, asking himself where the hell these words were coming from, but Kurama agreed to it.

"I must tell my mother and then we will be off. I suppose you should tell Kuwabara as well?" Yusuke nodded to him. "Then we will meet out front. I will see you in a few moments." And then Kurama walked away from him to goodness knows where inside of the store.

"Shit." Yusuke's hand went straight to his hair, tugging at the strands before he walked around trying to find Kuwabara. When he finally found his friend along with his father, they were bickering about paints. Yusuke shook his head at the normalcy before him while inside him his blood was rushing through his body swiftly. The adrenaline of going to see Kurama and talk to him all alone was running through him now. "Yo!" He called out to the father and son who looked up, smiling at him as if he wasn't missing anything.

"Talk to him and get things straightened out, Urameshi?" Kuwabara walked over to him, patting him on the back.

"I thought you told me he was finding a new punching bag from himself?" Kuwabara's father drawled out while the two buddies just shook their heads, leaving him to return to attending to the paints.

"Actually, I'm going to go and talk to him now." Kuwabara gave him a look. "I was sorta causing a scene at the aisle, so…yeah. He's waiting for me outside."

"Don't do anything rash, Urameshi. You're still married. I don't care how much you like him." Yusuke nodded, bumping him on the shoulder and waving to his friend's dad.

"I promise I won't do anything stupid."

_You always seem to stay that, but you find yourself in even more trouble that way._

Yusuke sighed. His mind wasn't helping him any right now. He was about to go and meet up with the guy who he's lusting after. His woman is away with their friends, and he was counting on his body to behave itself. As long as he stayed away from Kurama, he would be fine, right?

_And that has worked very well for you._

He grimaced now. Maybe lady luck will give him a boot up the ass and he wouldn't have to be very close to Kurama. As long as they weren't touching each other, or close enough to touch each other, he would be totally fine. He could do this. He was Yusuke Urameshi, and he was not one to give up or go back on his word. He would find a way to deal with Kurama.

* * *

x.x.x.

He planned on talking to Kurama in a less public space, that was a given, but he didn't expect to go to his house. And he didn't expect to be talking to Kurama in his room. With the door that was now locked, in case if anyone came into the house, like his mother, they wouldn't ask any questions. Yusuke's luck was just so shitty.

"You may sit down, Yusuke." Kurama's tone was so polite, but Yusuke knew that he better damn well sit somewhere. This conversation was going to take a long time, and he wasn't sure when they would be finished. Since Kurama was perched elegantly on his desk chair that left Yusuke with two options: the floor or the bed. He was going to sink onto the floor but Kurama gave him a curious look that made him transfer himself onto the bed. It was awkward to say the least. "Now then, you may shout at me all you like from where you are sitting."

Yusuke opened his mouth and closed it, trying to figure out what it was that he did want to say. "You and I…" He shook his head, confused about where to start. He looked down at his hands that were balled into fists then back to Kurama. He was exasperated.

"We both have made a mistake by sipping too much wine one night in the Demon World. I acted impulsively an kissed you, making you reciprocate the action. It was not my attention to arouse you, or to make you feel uncomfortable. As I said back then, we should just forget it had ever occurred." Yusuke could feel that the words he was saying were somehow strained or rehearsed, as if he didn't really want to say them at all.

"So, you don't like me like that at all?" Yusuke really didn't know where that came from. He just wanted to find out if he was plaguing Kurama's mind while vice versa it was happening all too much, continually.

"Yusuke-"

"I just really want to know. I've ended up…my mind's been showing me what could have happened if we went on and I just want to know-"

"It does not matter what I think of you. Keiko is your wife and you love her. You took a vow to remain faithful and true to her until the day you die."

"And what happens when I don't age and she does? What am I going to do when she leaves me behind? Kurama, you know as well as I do that I'm going to live a really long time and then Keiko will die on me."

"That is of no consequence to what is happening right now with you and I. That is a subject for much later and you know that I will be there for you. I consider you and the rest of the team, and the girls as my closest companions."

Yusuke huffed. This was getting him nowhere. He wanted to know if Kurama was thinking of him like he was always thinking of Kurama. He wanted to know how much that kiss meant to him back three months ago. He wanted to know why it was still fucking with his head while he was married to the "love of his life." He wanted to know why his lust was insatiable for the fox demon. "Why do you do this to me without even meaning to?"

"I am not doing anything, Yusuke."

"Bullshit!" With his exclamation, he moved from the bed and launched himself at Kurama. It wasn't an attack, it was an assault on the other demon's lips and neck. Yusuke couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips to the other man's and ended up straddling him on the chair. The adrenaline coursing through him felt like liquid flames burning hotly inside of him, and he gripped onto the brilliantly colored red hair of the fox demon while they continued to kiss passionately.

Hips ground together, and although Kurama was hesitant at first, he gave in. He reciprocated the kisses that the ex-spirit detective was gracing him with. The hips that were pulled flushed against his own were being pulled by him without a thought and he began to moan. He could hear Yusuke's own moan, and feel the rumble of it against his body and it was making him feel so hot. It was rough, fast, and becoming increasingly sloppy, but neither of them let go of the other until they were through.

_This is what you are aching for. No human girl could ever give this to you._

Yusuke's mind was explaining how this could only be right and nothing else could ever feel this right. He could never feel this complete with anyone else. No other person's touch could set him ablaze like Kurama's could. He wouldn't be able to live without this feeling for the rest of his days. He needed this despite just merely wanting it.

Meanwhile, as Kurama was being pelted with kiss after kiss, there something wrong about doing this. True, he was ecstatic about the other male kissing him and yearning for him, only wanting him, but it was wrong. Yusuke was married, happily so. Or he should have been when he made the decision to marry her. He couldn't just keep running them both on a string. He knew Yusuke loved Keiko somehow in some way, and if he was just making her happy, that was still a form of love.

"Yusuke!" He kept trying to grab the other's attention but it was to no avail. He was so lost in his lust and need that eventually his thoughts ran out of the window. Kurama's shirt came off, and his pants unbuckled, he didn't know when that happened, or when Yusuke's tongue started to slide across his skin. And despite it feeling fucking fantastic, Kurama still had his wits, even if they were slowly been driven away. The moment Yusuke's tongue dipped into his bellybutton, and his teeth nicked at the skin before trying to pull onto his pants, Kurama was at the point of losing it.

He grabbed onto his companion's hair, tugging him upward, making him stop. It was painful but if they continued to delve further into this territory, there was no going back, and neither of them would have redemption. Kurama would not be a home wrecker and Yusuke would not be a cheater. The fox demon would not let someone he cared deeply about for so long ruin himself in such a manner. He had to stop this, and he had to stop this now.

"Yusuke. This has got to stop. We can't do this." Yusuke's eyes were clouded with lust and the need of belonging to Kurama. He wasn't even trying to fight it anymore; he had already given in. "Yusuke, you're married to Keiko. You love her. You're going to have children, and when she's aged you will become so great…you don't want to ruin yourself by being with me. I will not taint your reputation." He gave a harsh tug to his friend's hair, pulling and pulling until the haze from his eyes cleared.

"Kurama…"

"You know I am right, Yusuke. We have to stop this. You must forget about all of this. We can only be friends and nothing more." Kurama was sure as he was saying these words, his heart was plummeting. In all of his years, there had never been such a harsh decision. He had left many lovers behind, disposed of them like they were nothing, flitted about like some strumpet, and broke so many hearts he couldn't even count them, but he was hurting more so now, as he knew he had to give up the mazoku.

"You're right." Yusuke got up and moved backwards to the bed again, sinking down on it, and holding his head in his hands. The fog of desire finally cleared from his mind, he didn't know what he would have done if Kurama hadn't stopped him. He was treading dangerous ground being near the man, and it wasn't Kurama's fault. He was the one who kissed him, he was the one who wanted to fuck him. Was he suppose to end his friendship now too? Because he was horny, no less?

Kurama sighed, this was becoming too much to handle. "Yusuke, we will continue as friends, and that is all. You and I…we just won't be alone when we see each other, that's all. No secret glances, flirtations, touches, nothing. A platonic friendship, that is all that we can share." He didn't know if he would keep up with the end of that bargain, but he would try if it would help Yusuke and Keiko. He was a loyal friend, after his many hardships in his lifetime. "I don't think there is anything else that can be said about this."

Yusuke looked up at his friend, watching him redress himself. He saw the hickeys he had adorned across his chest and one on his neck. He really couldn't control himself. A platonic friendship would be great, but would it be enough to keep his actions at bay? More than likely Kurama would kick his ass if things got too out of hand, but after today, he just wasn't so sure. "Right…" He stood up, walking to the bedroom door and unlocking it. "Just a friendship."

He couldn't turn to look at Kurama. He just simply opened the door, walked through it, and closed it behind him. It was time to run. No thinking, just running, and that's exactly what he did; ran for it. He ran and ran until he finally got to Kuwabara's house, banging on the door till his friend answered, and burst inside. His life was fucked up, he almost screwed Kurama, and his heart was twisting in all sorts of unpleasant ways. This wasn't supposed to hurt. It wasn't like they broke up or anything! But it didn't matter. His heart hurt, and that was when he realized it was possibly more than just lusting after Kurama, he might have even started to love him.

How do you fall in love with one of your best friends and not even know it until he kisses you? How do you fall in love with someone that's been by your side for no longer than the woman who had stuck by your side since forever? How do you fall in love with a guy who practically has people falling at his feet but only wants you and you're taken? Yusuke started to bang his head on Kuwabara's wall. "I fucked up." That was the only thing he had to say before his friend dragged him upstairs. Urameshi was indeed in some deep shit.

While in another part of the town, Kurama was sitting at his desk, looking out of his window. "How long are you going to hide in the shadows?" A figure emerged from the tree in his view, and swooped in through the window. "I could see you from here. What is it that you want?"

Hiei's teeth glimmered as he smirked. "He is in danger. You're also ruining my plans. Why didn't you just fuck him like you could have done? You had him right where you wanted him. Should have shown him that you were better than his dear old human girl. You've become soft in this human realm, Kurama." He jumped onto the fox's bed, laying out on top of it, like he belonged there.

Kurama didn't even glance at him. "I am going to return to Demon World, indefinitely. I will stay with Yomi."

"And become his harlot?"

"Better than the mistress of a married man."

"He will follow you until the ends of the earth, do you not know that? You've begun to seep into his pores instead of just festering within his mind. You've dug deep into that soul of his." Hiei spat out the last words, knowing they were true. He knew the one who knew him best was falling in love with the old spirit-detective. It was a disgusting human emotion he had no need for, but he could see that Kurama was laying in it's trap, while it was eating Yusuke alive.

"I will put up walls, and fences, and guards, and all sorts of things."

"You almost sound sad. Is that human heart of yours breaking with such a decision? Disgusting. If you want to go home that bad, then go. But if you take Yomi's invitation, you will never be able to have that half breed again." He walked to the window, and swooped right out of it. He left Kurama with his thoughts for hours, while Yusuke stayed with Kuwabara.

Keiko finally came to get her husband, who didn't even so much as want to look at her, and she wondered what was wrong. What was breaking the man she fell in love with? Was it her? Did she do something? She fidgeted as she watched him pace, lost in thought, and when she reached out to him, he would only move away. She was hurting because he was, even if she didn't know what for. She wanted to comfort him, and take his pain away.

Kuwabara watched his friend sink into despair, while Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan watched on just as confused as Keiko. But all the while, Kurama made his decision. He was going to the Demon World. He was going to become Yomi's harlot. He won't let Yusuke fall in love with him and ruin his life. He just couldn't let it happen. So he set out, telling his family he was moving, and only going to visit for holidays. When he set foot in the Demon Realm, he felt at home, but he was also at a loss.

Climbing into bed with Yomi, did nothing to satisfy the desire he had for the mazoku. If anything, that fire burned even hotter than any before.

* * *

Extra Notes: Phew! Finally I was able to update this! Things are getting even more complicated now that Yusuke knows his feelings, Kurama's feelings, and now Kurama has moved to Demon World. What can possibly go wrong now? Many things, many things.

Sorry for the sporadic updates, but I plan to keep updating this beauty. I won't forget this fic. I thank you all for sticking by me and reading this, I really appreciate it.

xoxoxo


	5. Turbulence

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: I am so sorry I haven't been able to update this fic. Finals happened, holidays happened, life was just nuts. I thank you all for sticking with this fic. Thank you so much. Enjoy this chapter.

Key: _Italics _are for thoughts as well as emphasis. You'll know which is which.

* * *

_Turbulence: Everything changes just like that_

For the whole of the next month, Yusuke would rise early, leave the house, possibly go to work, and not return until Keiko's eyes couldn't handle staring at the clock and inevitably went to sleep. For the entirety of a month, Keiko wouldn't see or hear from her husband. He was just an empty space in her bed; a void in her life, and she kept thinking with increasing wonder what she could have done to make this happen. Various thoughts consumed her on the matter, once or twice she had thought he might have been cheating, but she knew Yusuke would not have the capability for such thing, because he had indeed loved her with his heart.

It didn't calm her any less however. She was falling into sadness at the thought of losing her husband over and over again. She couldn't bare to lose him now or ever. They had been together for too long, been through so much, for things to simply die away now. No, Keiko had to believe in the love she had for Yusuke; in the same love that Yusuke must have for her. She wouldn't let it die. And every morning he would leave her just the same, coming home only an hour before he would leave again.

Yusuke was plagued; he could not help it. The last meeting with Kurama had made his heart ache in the most tortuous of ways. He felt that the friendship he had with the fox demon was severed and for the whole month, had not tried to seek him out. He mourned the loss of their friendship with so much vigor he would only have an hour of sleep, waking up at dawn beside the beautiful woman who is his wife, only to feel his gut filled with an immeasurable guilt that was ready to seep out of his pores. He would dress and leave after that hour of sleep, not being able to deal with Keiko or anyone else for that matter.

He knew he was descending slowly into madness. The fox demon's spell still held him in contempt, and he didn't even truly try to fight it. Kuwabara would find him on occasion, the expression of a haunted man, aged by the horrors of his life, and would always try to cheer him up. None of these attempts would work, and Kuwabara was sorry for his friend. But Yusuke would have to eventually work through this on his own. He would always be there for Urameshi, but even so, he would have to make the decision to give up one or the other.

On the first day of the following month, after Yusuke's period of despair, he found himself in the café that Shizuru worked in. He had been having a cup of coffee, the pressing need for caffeine pounding his temples and throughout his haggard body when he was visited by the last person he had ever planned on seeing, Hiei. The short fire demon said nothing, just sat across him in the booth as he took careful sips of the flaming hot cup that was meant to revive him. They sat there for a while in silence until Yusuke could take no more and asked what in the hell he could possibly want from him.

"He is in the Demon World, and you are here killing yourself because you have not seen him. Since when does Yusuke Urameshi mourn the loss of friendship and act weak. You've become pathetic."

Yusuke's mind only registered the first few words of Hiei's put down. "He's in the Demon World? Why? I thought he lived with his parents here in the Human World? What is he doing over there?"

Hiei huffed, the human was too predictable. "Selective hearing is something you also have. He is there on business of pleasure. None of your business, really. You won't have to deal with him anymore."

Yusuke held his cup of coffee tightly, the searing pain of the hot cup burning into his palms, but shrugged it off. The sting of it temporarily waking him, alongside the information just given to him. "Why is there, Hiei? Why you telling me he is there?"

"Perhaps to inform you of a companion's whereabouts so you will stop pining for him. Perhaps for my own sinister reasons. Whatever you believe in, I could careless." The small fire demon continued to stare at him, wondering when he would make his move, if he dared to at all. Waited for the question that truly plagued him.

"Will he ever come back, Hiei?" This was what the small fire demon was waiting for. The ex-spirit detective staring hopelessly into his coffee cup, hurt by the information that the one he wanted was away and perhaps never returning to him.

"No. He does not plan on it, ever. He wishes you a long happy life with your bride and that is all." Hiei watched as the mazoku's expression changed from haggard to completely heartbroken. Hiei was sure he could even hear it breaking. The look on his face satisfying him. This was when the game truly begun, if Yusuke chose to look for Kurama in the Demon World and choose him, or if he would stay with Keiko in the Human World. He would have to chose eventually, Hiei was just speeding up the process. This entertainment was too enjoyable to pass up.

"He's…gone to the Demon World…" Yusuke mumbled to himself, staring at the cup that was half empty. As of his coffee would give him some direction on what he should do with his life now. He shook his head, over and over trying to figure out what else to do. But he couldn't think of anything now. He was hurting, even more so than before, if that were even possible. Was Kurama lost to him forever now? "Where in the Demon World is he? Where did he go?" Yusuke looked up at Hiei with a fire in his eyes like never before. The fire demon could feel his energy starting to swirl up again, almost feel it.

If he were any other he would have almost smiled. But his face held the same hardened expression as always. "With Yomi. They have taken with each other once again. I don't have to explain anything further." Hiei left the mazoku then and there. His work was done; he just needed to watch everything unfold from a safe distance. More than likely, Mukuro would want to watch as well. After the wedding, it was her idea that the bet continue. With that, he returned to the Demon World, ready for the game to continue.

Meanwhile, Shizuru had watched on as Hiei and Yusuke spoke. The conversation was more than likely unpleasant and she had never seen Hiei speak more than a few harsh words to anyone. But even she could tell that the little bastard was up to something and when he disappeared she went over to Yusuke, filling up his cup again, seeing as he downed it when the shorter demon left. "That looked like you two had fun. Sharing is caring, unless you don't feel like pouring your heart and soul out to me. I could get little bro to come and get you."

She sat in Hiei's place across from Yusuke, the pitcher of coffee in between the two of them, and lit a cigarette. She was going to take her break now without giving two fucks. The puff of smoke she blew out was aimed directly to Yusuke who just stared at her for a few moments. No words would form in his mouth or his mind, so she would have to be there first again to initiate a conversation. "Did you hear me or you deaf? Need something or someone to talk to?"

"Fucking up is my specialty, didn't you know that?" Shizuru nodded, waiting for him to continue. Her cigarette dangling as she took a few side puffs. "I've made a lot of mistakes, and hurt a lot of people."

"Everyone makes mistakes." She took a long drag of the cigarette, leaning back now and getting comfortable. "It's all about how and when we fix them, if we choose to fix them. Letting them be only makes things worse. We've all got some pretty heavy decisions to make. And fucking up is a part of life. If you didn't fuck up every once in a while, how would you learn anything?" He smirked, her eyes tilting upwards, lost as if recalling a memory. "Shit happens, Yusuke. It's all about what you make of it. Do what you have to. If your mind isn't your guide, let it be your body. People do dumb shit all the time."

She looked back at him, and he finally understood. He needed to go and talk with Kurama again. Repair their broken friendship. Not lose control when they were in the near vicinity of one another. He would love Kurama and Keiko, but he could not have both. He could only choose one or the other. It was decision to choose one or the other. But first, he needed to deal with Keiko, show her how much he loved her, for he did love her more than any other woman he could ever love. But it was an ever-changing love, he was not in love.

Yusuke hated this. It was mushy, it was romantic, it was everything he couldn't stand for and wouldn't stand for. He was never a romantic, he was never someone that showed his feelings like that. All he had to do was whatever Keiko wished and she would be happy. But to actually go over and tell her how much he loved her every damn minute of every damn day…no, that was not Yusuke. The only way he was able to show her was through the passion of their sex. But even that plan was now soiled with the thought of caressing Kurama's body in place of hers, and stroking his mane of red hair instead of her dark brown one.

They were so different, but he inevitably loved the both of them. It was all about what he would do now. How he would handle it now. "Thanks, Shizuru. Here's the money and the tip. I've gotta go." He paid her what needed and took off. It was the middle of the day now, he would find Keiko in her family's restaurant, probably slaving her butt off for the money they earned. He peered through the windows, finding his wife smiling happily at customers as if she hasn't been crying herself at night wondering about her love.

_You've made her suffer. You've been battling yourself just as she's been battling herself. You must do something about this._

Yusuke sighed. His mind, sounding vaguely like his ancestral father guiding him, was actually right. He needed to do something. He walked into the restaurant, wrapping his arms around Keiko's middle as she turned away from her customers, almost frightened until she realized who it was that was holding her. She relaxed slightly, a bit confused as to why Yusuke was suddenly in the restaurant, hugging her like this in front of so many people.

"Yusuke..?"

"I'm sorry." He struggled with the apology for a few minutes before he could say it. But there were no other words needed. He could feel Keiko trying to choke back sobs, and he wasn't sure if things were okay or not between them. But this was the only moment that mattered right now. Tomorrow he would deal with the information he received from Hiei. He would visit Kurama in the Demon World, or he would stay here in Keiko's embrace. Yusuke vaguely understood at that moment that no matter how much he would love Keiko, he was still drawn to the fox demon.

However, it was not the next day he had actually left Keiko in the Human World and went to find Kurama. It was not until the next three months, and Yusuke had an immense amount of déjà vu kick in. He had left Keiko in the Human World with Botan and the other girls. They were going to take a trip to some islands and whatnot, thanks to Shizuru finally having a real vacation time now, and the others just thought it would be fun to tag along.

They would be gone for the whole of two weeks, which would be more than enough time for Yusuke to visit the Demon World, take care of his estate, and visit with the fox demon and Yomi. He just hoped that things would be okay, and he wouldn't strain their relationship any more than he already had. Before he had left to the Demon World, Kuwabara visited him. They talked long about the possibilities of what could happen, and how careful Yusuke should be. Kuwabara also divulged that if Yusuke had made his decision and made off with Kurama, Keiko would be taken care of.

When Yusuke asked about that further, Kuwabara said it was a secret of his own. He would never be able to explain that there was another who had eyes for Keiko. He knew that would hurt Yusuke just the same. Keeping her beauty and holding her captive, even though she could love someone better, someone else who was not as flawed as he was. But Kuwabara kept the information, and Yusuke didn't bother to dwell on it.

His trip to the Demon World went smooth. He met up with Hokushin quick, and headed to his own chambers of his estate. Being a demon lord had it's advantages, especially since his ancestral father was once the king. Enki had visited him that day also, checking up on things, having a few cups of wine, and just generally hanging around Yusuke. They would talk about Raizen and the old days, and Yusuke would laugh at all of the tales, loving the way that Raizen once was, hoping to emulate him somewhat as he grows.

The night was still when Enki was pulled into his own quarters in Yusuke's estate. He wouldn't let the king go off drunk off his ass, so he made him stay. Yusuke walked about his lands, finding himself in one of the small terraces that he had asked to be built so he could look at the night sky. He stood there for a very long time, letting the winds of the world comfort him and bring peace to his troubled mind and heart. He would meet with Kurama soon. He had sent a request to Yomi that day hoping for an audience with his friend, and hoped he would get a positive response.

Kurama was so close and yet so far. Yusuke wanting to send out his energy, hoping for Kurama to run to him and just take him. He shook his head. Those thoughts would not do well here. He had to meet Kurama as a friend, not pursue him. He was going to choose Keiko this time, he was sure of it. But there was that pang of sadness every time he told himself that. He wanted to love her as much as she loved him, but there was something there that always inched its way in and told him it will never be that much. He sighed to himself, wandering back into chambers and collapsing onto his magnificent bed. Tomorrow was another day, he hoped that he would meet with his friend, if not, he would try everyday for the next two weeks.

An entire week passed before Yusuke could have an audience with Kurama, and even so, Yomi would have to be there as well. He didn't trust Yusuke, and with Kurama finally coming back to him, he would do anything to protect the demon. The plan wasn't exactly setting itself in the proper position, but it was better than nothing. Yusuke would just have to see his friend and the lord, and make nice with both of them. He just hoped they weren't "together together" as it has been implied time and time again.

Kurama was wary when he and Yomi arrived in Yusuke's lands. His own feelings had not been squashed, and he ached for the mazoku more than ever. Yomi was allowed to touch him and pleasure him, but it was not what he wanted. He had indeed become the lord's harlot, and some days he wished he had never agreed to it. It wasn't that Yomi was bad at pleasing him, he was fantasic actually, but it wasn't up to par with what the ached for. They didn't have the intimacy that Kurama truly pined for. He even doubted that he would find the same intimacy if he was with Yusuke, but still…he craved it.

Seeing Yusuke at the foot of the steps of his castle didn't make his heart calm down either. He tried to keep a pokerface, but even Yomi could tell that he was trying to keep his body from flushing. The lord was told about the situation by Kurama himself, and when he explained that he would keep Yusuke away from him in order to protect him in exchange for being his courtesan or escort, Kurama readily agreed to it. Yomi knew there were feelings between them, but how much he would never care to guess. He had Kurama now and that was all that mattered. He wasn't going to let him slip away easily.

"Yomi, Kurama, I'm glad you both could make it. Come, we've got a lot to talk about. I hope you guys enjoy your stay here and whatnot. I've only got about a week to be here before I head back to the other side." Yusuke tried to keep up a chipper attitude, bringing the two men into his castle. He only had to survive watching Yomi's hand on Kurama's waist for only so long. Then he could return to Keiko and not dwell on it anymore.

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Extra Notes: Phew! Another chapter. Left it on a bit of cliffhanger, but I will satiate your hunger for another chapter soon! Sorry it was very short, it was a bit hard to get this chapter done. Again, I thank all of you readers!


	6. Heart's Paradox

Title: Cold Feet

Pairing: Yusuke/Kurama, Botan/Keiko (eventual)

Summary: A wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, but for Yusuke Urameshi it is nothing more than hell. Why can't he just make up his mind about what he really wants?

Disclaimer: If I owned them, I would not be writing about them.

Notes: Life is absolutely nuts, but here I am and totally updating this fic because I love you all readers. I truly do. Also, have some nice Raizen speaking into Yusuke's head some more. Is he a figment of our ex-spirit detectives imagination or something more?

Key: _Italics _are for thoughts as well as emphasis, and Raizen speaking in Yusuke's head. You'll know which is which.

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Heart's Paradox: The War Begins

* * *

_For those days we felt like a mistake__,_

_Those times when loves what you hate,_

_Somehow,_

_We keep marching_

_those nights when I couldn't be there,_

_I've made it harder to know that you know,_

_That somehow,_

_We'll keep moving on. _

_**- One Republic & Timbaland "Marching On"**_

* * *

The air was stuffy, entirely too stuffy for any of the men in the room's liking. Yomi and Kurama sat poised at the other end of the table opposite the younger demon lord. They would not move or speak, lest he had started the conversation, and even when he did try, it would die out in an instant. The mood was entirely sour, and Yusuke only had a few minutes to think of something that would help him not lose the last inklings of his sanity. After all, that was what was truly being tested here in the Demon World now.

Sighing, he reached for his cup of the finest wine. He knew not to drink too much of the liquid, which had set him up in the first place. His eyes flashed slightly towards Kurama before he took a sip, but tried to focus on Yomi. He knew the blind demon could probably hear the slow and irregular beating of his heart, but it could also jump the second he looked at the fox demon. It was the worst situation he had ever found himself in.

He set the glass down, licking his lips. "Well, this is a nice little chat, right? I think I can hear the crickets talking…are there even any of those here?"

Yomi moved a fraction of an inch in his seat before speaking, "Not as many as one would find in the Human World, I would suspect. I am not sure if they were meant to be apart of this world. Not many things are." Yusuke's eyes narrowed at his last comment, but said absolutely nothing to start any trouble. The last thing he needed was to blow up his property here because Yomi wanted to test his patience.

"Right." He looked at Kurama, trying to keep his emotions under control, knowing all too well that his energy was ready to swirl and entrap the fox demon. "What's up with you? Haven't heard from you in the longest time, and I find out you're laying low here. Come on man, what gives?" Yusuke was trying his hardest to be nonchalant, but even could hear the slight tinge of need in his own voice. Damn, Kurama getting to him.

"That is none of your concern. However, I wished to take off some time to stay here in the Demon World. I am content with lodging with Yomi. Besides, there is not much that I am truly needed for in the Human World." Kurama's tone was as icy as one could get. He knew that his words were going to affect the half demon. He was doing it on purpose to hurt him, to get him to choose his human life and forget about him, no matter how painful it was on himself. Playing the martyr was beginning to suit him well. He could almost hear Hiei chuckling at his disgrace of falling for the half-breed and injuring his heart in the process. How could he have been so careless?

Observing Yusuke, he could understand the attraction somewhat. He was endearing despite all of his faults. He could be charming at times, and quite the warrior; protective and with the strength of his godly ancestral demons. Kurama had to fight the urges to bite his lip or sigh at the thoughts. Even as he was sitting beside Yomi, he was having a hard time controlling his lust for Yusuke. It was becoming unbearable, and he was beginning to think this trip was all a ploy for him to lose his self-control.

"Okay, no need to be bitchy. Just a little worried is all. You left without a word, but hey if you think need a vacay here in the Demon World, I'm all for it. Maybe you could have just sent a damned postcard or something. I didn't even know you were gone." He took another sip of his drink which turned to a gulp. He was getting frazzled by Kurama's coldness. It was unlike him to be anything but civil to Yusuke, but then again, he might have unintentionally hurt him on more than one account, being married to Keiko and all.

His love life was just a big mess.

_This kind of thing suits you. I never explained that we take and hardly give. You and I are on and the same boy!_

The cackling within Yusuke's mind, made him groan mentally, and he wanted nothing more for the older demon to be alive and well so he could slap the shit out of him. This invasion of his mind was beginning to piss him off more and more. He should probably go see someone about that, but then again, people might think he was crazier than he already felt that he was. Not only was his love life a mess, but his mental stability and general life story was a mess. How could he be so fucked up?

"…makes no difference, as I stated before I am content." Yusuke didn't really listen to what Kurama had just said, but he turned his gaze to the smiling blind man. The smile was so small that it almost wasn't there, but the mazoku could tell that he felt like he was winning a battle. And that was truly what it all came down to, right? A battle for Kurama between two of the most influential demon lords in the realm. However, this battle was not to be fought with physical skill and prowess, but it was more about who could win over Kurama's heart.

Knowing that made Yusuke's heart palpitate, despite it's slowness. He touched his chest, and he could feel rather than see (for he wasn't going to look at the fox at a moment like this) the look on Kurama's face. He knew he was concerned, and so Yusuke had no choice but to smile and wave his hand idly. "Gas. Ehehe." He punched his chest to calm his heart down, hoping that this would stop soon. He was supposed to be here thinking of ways to let Kurama be happy in the Demon World. So why couldn't he let it go at all?

Why couldn't he just let Kurama go?

_You really are an idiot boy. There is much more in the relationship you have with that fox than the one you have with the human. It is not simply the sexual desire that interests you, there is another quality. A quality that I found in that human woman. Your ancestress…_

Yusuke groaned audibly this time and the others that were opposite him were perplexed. "Are you sure you are feeling well, Yusuke? You seem to be having a number of troubles." The mazoku blinked and shook his head while Yomi continued on, "I see. In any case, the day has passed quicker than I thought. Night will be coming soon, may we stay the night in your territory or shall Kurama and I be on our way to Gandara?"

"S-stay, for sure you guys can stay!" The brunette boy paused for a second, his thoughts needing to be gathered because he was a little too jumpy now. "I mean, you guys can say if you really want to and need to. I would hate for you guys to have a long ass trip back to your place and be exhausted, right? So you might as well stay the night." He took his cup again, realizing that it was empty and started to fill it up. He paused again and looked at the other two, "Uh…fill her up boys?" Kurama shook his head while Yomi had taken another cupful.

The fox demon could tell that tonight the blind demon would be more than amorous in between the sheets, with all of the liquor he had been drinking. With a thought like that running through his mind, he only wished that his body wasn't too sore from the late night's activities prior to this night. It was like Yomi had to prove every single time they were in bed just how much he needed Kurama and his body. And how nice it was to be told and touched and kissed, Kurama was tired because it wasn't the one he wanted to be told by, touched by, and kissed by. Those affections were now reserved for a married woman.

It was a sad existence he was leading.

"Lord Yusuke! There is someone here who wishes to speak with you." Hokushin interrupted any and all thoughts that each of the men were having and Yusuke stood up, excusing himself and following his attendant. He left Yomi and Kurama to themselves, and Kurama felt as if all the wind hand been knocked out of him as the demon lord left them with a smile gracing his features. He was beautiful, and Kurama was in deep trouble for loving him.

"Hokushin, who could be wanting to come here in the night and visit here? I didn't throw a big party without knowing I did, right?" Yusuke scratched at his head, trying to figure out who would want to visit him.

"No, my lord. Hiei is here and is saying that he wishes to stay here for the time being while you are here. It is only a matter of time before you depart again, am I right?"

"Oh yeah. I wonder what the little bastard wants outta me, after making me come here."

Yusuke was greeted by Hiei in the same fashion as always, without any real words. A grunt was all that sufficed when the shorter demon was present. How anyone could possibly understand him, it was anyone's guess. The person that understood him perfectly was Kurama, and Yusuke would be damned to try and figure out the complexities of that relationship. Matter of fact, he didn't want to just think about it. Hokushin left the two of them, returning to his other duties and bidding them both goodnight.

"Alright, I'll bite. What're you doing here?"

"Visiting. Just as he is visiting you. Also, there are some things I want to talk to him about, but I wouldn't be able to talk to him within Yomi's domain. He does not need his eyes if he can hear it all. There are ears in every chamber and corridor within his territory. In any case, I must see Kurama."

Yusuke sighed, ruffling his dark mane that was getting excruciatingly longer as he stayed within the Demon World. He never understood why it would grow at an alarming rate while he was here, it was so fucking annoying. "Alright, alright. Come on, they're in one of the rooms. We were drinking." Yusuke started to walk with the shorter demon following him. Reaching the room in which the other men were, Yomi had his hand running through Kurama's hair, and Yusuke had to fight with himself to not want to try and bite it off or something stupid like that.

Hiei made a note of the slight change of the mazoku's energy with amusement as the fox demon shied away from the touch in shock at their new guest. "Hiei's here. He's staying too, with us." Yusuke cocked his head motioning for him to sit and be comfortable, sitting beside him when he did so.

"Hiei, what brings you here?" Kurama tried asking him the real question with his eyes, _why are you here in Yusuke's territory messing with us? _Yomi could feel the change in energy as the question was asked, and if he could narrow his eyes at the fox demon, he would have, but the development of another one of their companions arriving was just making things even more interesting by the minute.

"Visiting." He said simply, reaching out for a cup, and filling it with the untouched water pitcher beside the half-drunk bottle of wine. It was the exact same bottle, he noted, that Kurama hadn't gotten drunk off his ass with Yusuke all that time ago. It was incredibly amusing, and Hiei couldn't help himself but want to watch the events unfold even more during their stay. He was going to find a way to talk to Kurama alone and have him and Yomi stay for a prolonged period of time.

He didn't know how that was going to happen, but Hiei always had a plan, especially if it was just to amuse himself. Even Kurama knew that about him, it was one of the reasons they had gotten along so well. Sometimes the duo would be able to be amused by the small gambling of things, especially people's lives, even if Kurama tried to act high and mighty.

Bringing the cup to his lips, Hiei drank and hid the small smile that etched his features. Oh how he loved messing with people.

* * *

x.x.x.

The four men had dinner altogether in a large dining room, eating later than was expected, but the cook was still up which was a good thing for them. Yusuke and Kurama's dispositions were fluctuating throughout the dinner as everyone was trading stories of how life was getting along in each of the realms. At one point there was a mention of the more than friendly relationship that Yomi and Kurama were having, but Yusuke made no remark on it, and so it was promptly dropped.

And all the while Hiei was making mental notes for this to be used later. An internally smiling because this stuff was indefinitely going to be used and possibly fucking things up even more for Yusuke and Kurama and their not so innocent relationship.

Kurama was internally freaking out every second that Yomi would either get closer, touch his hair like some household pet, or when Yusuke would look at him having an internal war. It was an incredibly long night, and he didn't know whether or not he would survive it.

Thankfully, they all did.

Yusuke returned to his quarters with some smiles and handshakes, trying to be cordial and all polite like a good host and demon lord is supposed to be. After all, he was technically rich in this world with all the land that he inherited from good ol' Raizen that wouldn't do anything but cackle inside of his head and tell him things that he didn't want to hear anymore. That was beside the point however. He had to be nice, especially to Kurama if he wanted to mend their broken friendship, but the moment he had gotten close enough to touch Kurama's hand he felt that slightly thrilling electric spark run through his calloused hand and spread to every bit of his body. It was utterly tempting not to pull or tug that hand backward, which would send the fox demon forwards and the two of them would sprawled out on the floor.

With Kurama atop Yusuke's body. Which would have made Yusuke hard. Which, thinking on the fact right now, as he walked away from his guests, was a damn good thing he didn't do that. Just the image that was conjured in his mind was setting him off and he knew he would have a hard time turning that image off. Especially since Kurama was moaning in his mind now, and so he slammed the door of his quarters, collapsing into the bed and covered his eyes with his arm.

"Fuck." That was all that needed to be sad, because that's exactly how he was. Fucked beyond all belief.

_It's gonna get harder on ya boy._

The cackling didn't desist, and Yusuke wanted nothing more than raizen to be alive so he could kick the shit out of him. _Stupid old fucker. _That's what Yusuke thought over and over until he tired himself out and finally fell asleep.

Except he was dreaming about the damned red headed fox and all of the many talents he accumulated over the years.

Meanwhile, Hiei caught Kurama in the halls after hearing he and Yomi get into it, and then afterward find their way towards each other and fuck like demons only could. It was becoming pathetic, the pattern that Kurama was riding through endlessly. He was in love with a half-breed that was now married to a human woman, who he didn't even fully love in the manner he should. It was a huge mess that Hiei wanted to tinker with, but even more so than tinker with, he wanted Yusuke to be the one to make all the moves because he has no real self-control.

And he would be doing a favor for Kurama now wouldn't he? Getting the fox exactly what he wanted. The half-breed in his possession and doing all sorts of things. Hiei still regarded Kurama with the same love as an escort, but he still cared in a weird sort of way. He wasn't going to let Kurama just be with anyone. Even if it was a good call in the Demon World, hooking up with Yomi and selling off his body in his care was not an idea Hiei was fond of.

Which why he was loving this game. He could end Yomi's attachment to the demon fox forever. It only needed a little plotting. Something that Hiei wasn't always too great at for Kurama was the strategist of them all.

Nonetheless, he caught him in the corridor, limping like he had been run through thoroughly, and he probably had been. "You are doing well for yourself." It was all he could say, without going into all the reasons why he was fucking everything up and turning Kurama's life around. The fox demon didn't even want to talk to him, he turned the other way, trying to wander somewhere else and think of something else, and just put the entire situation out of his mind. But life has a funny of messing with you even more, especially when you beg and plead for it not to.

That was what Kurama was dealing with now.

An exasperated sigh left his lips as he could feel Hiei following him. The chase and run was getting a little old, and when Kurama became too tired, he found a bench sit on, nearly toppling off of it, as it was unbalanced. Hiei ended up standing right before him, not taking the chance of sending them both falling off of the bench and just smirked. He really and truly stood there and smirked. Kurama wondered when and how he became so blasted off his rocker that he thought that smirk was damn near sexy when it just infuriated him now more than ever.

He could never hate Hiei, but he couldn't love him either, not the way he loved Yusuke anyway.

"What do you really want?" Kurama leaned back, teetering on the bench, his back against a wall and could feel his head beginning to throb with a migraine. So much for after-sex bliss. Hiei continued to stare at him until the fox gave him an answer, and they both knew that they could wait a long time during one of their spats.

The silence was deafening and Kurama had no choice but to end it. "Happiness, Hiei. That is all I need. I wanted that solace while I was in the Human World, but I had to get away from a harsh reality. What does it matter to you? His happiness is what I really want. If he has it without myself in the picture then I will take the chance to be hurt if it meant for his happiness. You don't understand that do you?"

"You're incredibly selfless."

"And you're selfish, somehow we worked that out. Are we going to go down that road?" Hiei frowned while Kurama chuckled softly. His heart was hurting, the intensity of the pain was making his head swim, and he didn't know what to do to stop it.

"He isn't happy, you know. Not if you're not there."

"He will make do one day without me. He will be a brilliant demon lord, and all of his children with Keiko will be beautiful. I have no place in that future."

"But you want to. If he wasn't with that human-"

"It is over, Hiei. He will not leave her, and I will not leave Yomi. I cannot leave Yomi." The last sentence was said almost inaudibly, which made Hiei rush close to Kurama, his eyes flashing in confusion and somewhat anger.

"You sold yourself?"

"Not fully. Not yet. It is getting there." Hiei moved back to his place, standing in front of Kurama like a soldier going into battle. The determination in his eyes scared Kurama in so many ways. He couldn't understand what was going through the shorter demon's mind. It wasn't always easy reading Hiei, understanding what he was up to, or what he wanted to do.

"That is how it is." Hiei said softly, and started to walk away. "Don't leave too quick, Kurama. You are too sore for a journey. Also, do not act as if you are helpess when we both know that you are stronger than the rest of us. Yusuke knows that as well, but if you keep showing all of these vulnerabilities…how will you win him then?"

Kurama's eyes flashed gold for a split second, his anger catching up with him. "How dare-" Hiei was already gone from his line of vision, and his energy dissipating. The fox demon couldn't do anything but sigh as he sat on the bench. He looked about, seeing that there had been some vast improvements in the palace (at least that's what Yusuke turned the tower into) and smiled a little. It had the flair that the mazoku had within him, and it made him happy.

"I do need to stop being so selfless, but I do not want to be selfish and hurt Keiko. She is still a dear friend, Hiei. And I cannot control their hearts, only try and hope that mine will stop hurting. There is no guarantees in love. I have found that out the hard way."

Kurama sat there for the longest time, contemplating the nature of the heart and love, and how could two people wish for something for another but being swallowed up by the love of someone else. It was just unfair. And after a time, Kurama found the will to return to Yomi's quarters. His body melding with the broader demon, wishing that his sleepy caresses were from the owner of this place instead.

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Extra Notes: Phew! Hello all! I am glad you're still sticking with this fanfic. I am having a lot of fun writing it. Thank you all so much. xoxoxo


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